I really had to write right now. This is the most helpless I have ever felt in my life. My two best friends are in the biggest trouble and they need their friends' support but I'm not there with them.
I have this whole new respect for the both of them.
May god bless them ,protect them and give them all the strength they need. This is just to let them know that I'm praying for them (the most I can d0).

Freak?

I don't even remember when exactly did I become such a film fanatic. This question arose in my mind when I was talking to a sweet guy who was not so much into films and it just struck me.
Now my "filmy malaria" has reached such a level that its impossible to connect to anyone who is not as interested in movies as I am. Most of the conversations that I have with the people who I am close to are about or in relevance to movies.

Am I a freak? And... Will "the one" be it too? *thinking with index finger on the temple*

Chimera?

Sometimes life forces you to forget what you thought was the most beautiful moment you have ever lived.
Well can't blame it, I should have pinched myself after it happened.
But now I'm not sure weather to call it a good dream or a bad one.

Expression

Her phone rang. It was his text.
She read it and smiled. She called him, he told her to just do what was written in the message.
She reached where he was waiting for her. It was her favorite restaurant.
She looked at him. He smiled.
He asked her the question.
There was a tear in her eye, she did not say anything else.

Even though it is important to express what you are feeling, there are somethings that you don't need to say out loud, they are just meant to be understood.

Making small talk is not that hard

I'm in my mid 20s and just like all other Indian females my parents are also heavily concerned about finding a suitable, nice, good looking, well settled guy with whom I can spend the rest of my life happily.
Before I got into the arranged marriage "business" it used to really creep me out that you have to make the decision after knowing someone for what... an hour? But thankfully my parents and all the guys I came across were very supportive in this respect.
Anyway, the point I'm trying to make in this post is not this.
The first time my mom told me that a prospective groom will be giving me a call, it bummed me out. But once I started talking I was not that bad (which came as quite a surprise to myself)!
I mean there were no awkward silenced (at least from my side) any of the times. Surprisingly I was able to connect to most of them quite easily (which is not a thing to be so proud of :P).
May be it was because I did not ask any of the people the regular arrange marriage questions, I just talked to them about my interests and things I like or dislike the way I would talk to my friends.
I really don't like stating it but, it is actually kind of become business like for me now. It may be because I did not come across a guy that I felt I could genuinely fall for but yeah now I can talk to even strangers with immense confidence ;) .

Vice

Speaking of not so long ago, I used to be this impractical, angry, crazy female who just spoke her heart out in front of anybody.
Insane anger still happens to be my biggest vice but still I have managed to control it till some level. Still whenever I get angry I just go on blabbering things without thinking about the consequences. I hate it when I am angry and especially when I hurt someone I really care about. After all the screaming and yelling happens on an innocent (or not so innocent) soul I start realizing what I did and more than that what I should not have done.
God please take this crazy habit away from me () please please please!!

My dream is to...

I actually don't know what my dream is. I just know I'm not very happy or content doing what I do right now.
I'm not saying I'm sad but I want to do something that I could enjoy more.
I really admire people who can get out of their confort zones and pursue things they actually have interest in, things they actually care about.
I wish to be one of them!

While my guitar gently weeps...

I was listening to this simple yet beautiful song by The Beatles and I don't know why, it just somehow reminded me of how much I miss writing.
Damn naivete-veteran, I miss you so much :(

Greed

As humans it is our tendency to be greedy. Personally speaking I always keep praying to God for one thing and promising him that if I get it, I will never ask him for anything else. But as a human, I just can't help it.
There was one thing for a long time that I wanted really really badly and I kept praying to God for it (and telling him that if he gave it to me, I will never ever ask for anything from him ever again), then I got angry with God and stopped asking for it but still in a teeny tiny corner of my heart I always kept wanting it.
One day suddenly when I was least expecting it, that thing came walking to me. That was probably the happiest day of my life. I even told God Thank you and told him I will keep my promise and never ask for anything more from him. Now being a human I want more. I want the thing to stay with me and be mine forever and ever but there are certain hurdles in its way.
Now I want to pray to God and ask him to make those hurdles move out of the way and make my life smooth and peaceful, but I don't know how to do that.
I wish I don't have to tell God out loud what I want, I hope he just lingers in my heart and finds it out on his own.
Greedy me... :)

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