Solitary

So I am in THE GREAT United States again and I really appreciate so much about this country but the bottom line is I feel lonely here.
I have always been alone here and I hate that feeling.
I miss my country despite of all the bad things about it and because of the fact that all the people that I love, live in it.

I MISS INDIA :((

Cry baby ME

Its been more than five months since I got married. Life has not changed very much but that is only because my husband and I are not living together still.
I crib about it to my husband everyday and then feel guilty for saying all those things to him.
Yes, this has pretty much been my routine in the past five months.
Actually, I am an eternal pessimist and when I don't see things happening I panic.
My patience level is very low and I cannot keep things that are disturbing me inside of me. The only thing is the person who has to face the music is my poor husband.
I would like to take this opportunity through this post to apologize to him for all the hard time that I have given him and to tell him that I love him and trust him that he will make things alright very soon.

I'm sorry 'U' :(

One thing I learned from Edward Scissorhands

You know you love that person, but you also know that you can hurt them.
You know it would be difficult for you to live without them, but when you know you are not good for them, for the sake of the love that you feel for them, just let them go.

There is a chance that if you keep trying you might be able to make it work one day, but think about the number of times you will make that person miserable in that time.

It might be hard but it's better to just let go once and for all, keep the happy memories in your heart forever, accept that it was just not meant to be; and believe that they will always remember you "when it snows" :)

to make things worse...

Going through a really bad phase professionally...
Really not finding a way through...

:(

In Dilemma

Its human nature to find out negativity in an absolutely positive situation.
After a very long time everything is going just perfect in my life but my mind just can't stop worrying.
There are so many uncertainties still. So many whens, wheres and hows to be answered!

I hate myself for being so pessimistic even after being given so many re-assurances :(
I just can't help it. I'll relax only after things fall in place.
I'm sorry 'U' for making your and my life so difficult.

Are we moving forward or backwards?

Its such a relief to have IPL on TV these days. It gives me a break from all the rona dhona, shadi, god-bharai, karwa chauth and gangor pujas that are shown in the TV serials that air these days.
Its true that the Saas-Bahu era was irritating and we literally celebrated the day the last show that had the same concept ended but the too much social message spreading era is even worse.
I really miss the old Doordarshan TV shows like Vyomkesh Bakshi, Circus, Talash, Fauji or even the new-age shows like Banegi apni baat, Tara and Swabhiman.
All I see on TV these days is people crying over a child marriage or caste system or some avatar of some Goddess being born in a poor family.
Why can't we have more sitcoms like Dekh bhai dekh and Sarabhai vs Sarabhai?
Or intellectual shows like Bharat ek khoj and Surabhi?

The Indian television really needs another makeover now.

Just when I thought it could never happen to me again...

This one is for you... You know who you are :)


You've made me forget all the bad things that have happened to me in the last few years.
You've made me look forward to the future again.
You've made me feel wanted.
You've made me feel needed.
You've made me realize that what I was looking for was just an image, just a perception.
You've made me want to watch Romantic comedies again. :P

You've made me happy :) and most importantly...
You've made me fall in love all over again.

Conflict

It's one of those times when your heart and your mind want completely opposite things. If you do what your former wants you to do you end up regretting later on and following the latter makes you cry all the time.

Why did life get so difficult? And since when?